Hi, and welcome to the crazy! A place for a crazy single mum to type what is on her mind.. Please keep your arms & legs inside the carriage at all times, and hang the f*ck on!

27 March, 2011


KIDS. One word. THEEE word. Strikes fear into the hearts of grown men, turns any woman into a blubbery mess, scares the crap out of teenagers, melts the heart of old people, brings people together, tears families apart and sets a mother apart from the rest of the world.
WOW man. Just WOW. Kids are full on! They're so amazing. And it's amazing how much they change your life! Even if the only thing that changes in your life is your before/after work routine, they still change who you are. Help you define what a true friend is.... Perfect example of true love. Love at first sight. Unconditional, "I don't care WTF you do, I'll always love you" kinda love.
Yet, something so perfect and blissful can turn someone's life into hell!? How does that work!? And turn someone from having some of the best friends in the world, to having no friends... A once confident, ambitious, carefree young woman turns into a self-conscious, clueless ....blonde!? I find it amazing how much everything changes. And how personally mothers take kind words of advice.. EVERYONE is different. No two mothers raise their children the same. If every mother raised every child the same, the world would be ...boring. Heck, a family can have two children and have full intention of raising both of them in the same way, but it will never happen! So why do mothers take something that was meant as a bit of friendly advice so insultingly!? Or, if you say something like, "Oh, disposable nappies!? I could never put THOOOOSSEEEE on MYYYY sons bum! They're disgusting!" That's MY opinion!!! Doesn't mean you have to get all sad panda on me! (just using that as an example BTW! Keep your panties on!)

Shit like this happens everyday! None of this is based on anything said to me today/yesterday/last week.... I was just reading an article on ninemsn and realised mothers are all such hypocritical morons! Yes, even I have my moments - I'm not afraid to admit it. And any mother that feels they can get all 'holier than thou' towards another mother due to being in a different situation can go eat a dick! :)

Ahhhhh, today's blog - over and OUT! x

24 March, 2011

Back to the 80s!?

So like, I've been thinking about the past a lot lately.... Not in ways you're probably thinking! I wonder what it would be like to raise a kid in the 80s.... I know what it was like to be born in the 80s (winner decade btw!) but to be a parent in those times; what was it like!? No internet. Computers weren't mandatory in every household. No mobile phones. Only the simplest of toys.... I reckon I was meant to be a mum in the 80s! I WANT TO GO BACK TO THE 80s!!!!
So random. I love the ....WTF is this decade called!? ...I love the 21st century. I just don't like what video games and gory movies are doing to the population! +1 for WORLD PEACE.
No, I'm not a hippy. I'm just starting to come to the realisation that I'm raising a child that is most likely going to grow up in the grimmest of times. Apart from the recession, obviously... Although, could be worse!? Makes me sad that he wont have the luxuries that you and I do. Sure, there will be things that are WAYYY better than what we have now. But there will be a lot that will be worse. He wont realise it, but I will.
Have no idea why I'm thinking this way.... I had a really freaky dream last night, and ever since I woke up, I've been in this state of mind.....
Meh, life goes on!
Peace outtttt! x

11 March, 2011

AHHH! The world's going to end... Or not.

Hurricanes. Floods. Fires. Cyclones. Earthquakes. Tsunami's. These are all natural disasters that have been occurring for countless years.... Yet, all of a sudden, some hotshot makes a movie about the world ending with believable scenarios, and all of a sudden this shit constantly happening means the world is going to end!? SERIOUSLY!? Fail.
Today's earthquake/tsunami in Japan prompted half of my facebook friends to go into a sort of 'panic' state sooking about how the world WILL end in 2012... How the scientists are all right. ...The scientists that don't actually have any credible degrees anyway. Because the real scientists; the ones with 10+ years of scientific study, have NO idea what they're talking about hey!? ...Some people... LOL.
Clearly I don't believe constant natural disasters means the world is going to end. Hopefully, it just means that the human population will take our planet a little more serious and start looking after it! Otherwise, it will end. But not in 2012!

Had to get that off my chest! LOL. Could say a lot more, but hey, I need to feed my son before he chews my leg off... Because yes, he is turning into a flesh eating werewolf, just like in the movies!

Songs that played during this blog session ::
The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony.
Aerosmith - Don't Want To Miss A Thing.
Goo Goo Dolls - Better Days.

09 March, 2011


So I've decided sunburn works in mysterious ways... It only burns what it wants to! LOL.
Went to the beach yesterday... Slathered on some sunscreen, then had some fun for a few hours.... OMG. Ended up with heatstroke or something because I was so burnt! EVEN MY LEGS BURNT! My calves have NEVER been burnt before! EVER. It hurts so bad!!

Anyway, purpose of the blog.... So, I have patchy burn on my chest, back, arms and legs... Really weird. And I'd like to know why Mr Sunshine is discriminating against my knees!? Why does he feel my knees don't need to tan!? I'd really like to know!!! Frustrating. Patchy tan = mega fail. I'm such a Melbournian! LOL.

REMEMBER kidlets :: Slip, Slop, Slap!!! x

Burn in question... How funny does it look!?

08 March, 2011

THE bucket list...

So the other day, some peeps were talking about 'bucket lists'... I wrote one up many moons ago. Way before I became a mum. So figured I'd write up another one and compare it to my old one! (Which I first need to find!)

365 things yeah? ....This could take a while.
1. Fly an f-111.
2. Spend Christmas in London.
3. Take froggy to Disneyland.
4. Go to Uluru.
5. Base jump off the Sydney Harbour Bridge.
6. Wakeboard every day for 2 weeks straight; and survive.
7. Give froggy an epic trust fund.
8. Ask a random guy to marry me.
9. Own a Camaro.
10. Fly a Blackhawk.
11. Destroy all video games.
12. Go to Thailand!
13. Play with tigers.
14. Swim with sharks.
15. Abseil down the tallest building in the world (I forget what it's called!)
16. Own a hotel.
17. Own an airline.
18. Own a house with it's own private beach.
19. Surf with Kelly Slater.
20. Go snowboarding in Canada.
21. Heli-boarding in The Remarkables (NZ).
22. Be a stunt driver in a smashy smashy movie.
23. Pop tyres outside a cop shop.
24. Get a tan.
25. Blow up cigarette factories.
26. Race in the V8 utes.
27. Drive a go-kart on the streets.
28. Run around Dubai dressed as a condom.
29. V8's in Abu Dhabi.
30. Cure my addiction to Facebook.
31. Drink a bucket cocktail in 5 minutes.
32. Be on TV (for good reasons!)
33. Lick a random sexy guys abs.
34. Live in Europe for 12 mths+.
35. Raise an awesome child.
36. Get another tattoo.
37. Get to my goal weight.
38. Become a successful freelance Interior Designer.
39. Write a song.
40. Get married on the Eiffel Tower.
41. Spend Valentines Day in Paris. <3
42. Dye my hair blonde.
43. Live my life the way I want.
44. Get snoopy tattooed on my bum.
45. Get rid of my 'mummy marks'.
46. Fly to the moon.
47. Stop being commitmentphobic.
48. Kiss a married man (my 'iffy' one LOL).
49. Sleep in an igloo.
50. See the Aurora lights.

....OK, so I can only come up with 50 things! My bad. It's hard! I'm so boring now that I have a child. I feel like I cant be myself anymore! But I can! I CAN BE MYSELF! ...I just need to keep reminding myself of that.

Peace out! x

02 March, 2011


That's the sound of an f-16 taking off at full noise! <3
That's the sound I wont be hearing this year. For the first time in a REALLY long time, I wont be going to Avalon Airshow this week! So gut wrenching; if I was in Melbourne, I'd be HELLLL pumped, as Thursday & Fridays are my go days! (trade pass ftw!)

The fact that the f-22's are there makes it even depressing. I seriously want to cry!!! Imagine.... Well, imagine having to go without the one thing you love more than life itself.... Like air for example. Yep, me missing out on the airshow is like the world running out of air! I COULD DIEEEEEEE.
Extreme, I know. Some may be thinking, "oh my, what a drama queen! It's just a bunch of planes sitting on the tarmac!" ..No, it's really not hey! It's a way of life - MY way of life. The way your stomach does that stupid thing when the jets take off... Watching the aerobatics.. Thinking to yourself, "if I wasn't such a dickhead, that could've be me up there!"
It's the greatest show on Earth! It's amazing. It's how I want to spend every day of the rest of my life! It's how I would be spending every day of the rest of my life if I wasn't silly enough to get pregnant!
I really do love my bubba with 95% of my heart... But that other 5%... Well, that 5% is addicted to adrenalin. He can't get my heart racing like a big fat shot of adrenalin can! :/

So yeah, the amount of sadness running through me because I cant go to the airshow is enough to blog about! ..One day precious wings, one day....

mmmm, sexy f-22.... *drools* 

Oh, and if you're fortunate enough to be going to the airshow this weekend.... Spare a thought for me and take LOTS of awesome photos!!! That would be awesome!

Peace out! x

A little bit trashy...

Quite certain this blog will make me sound like a ....well, a slut really. But I don't particularly care, as I desperately need to get this off my chest! :)

Bad sex should NOT be allowed!!
SERIOUSLY. How bad is it!? Like, not just at the time, but the aftermath as well.. It's like, "oh yeah, thanks mate! I'll never want sex again!" *sad face* ....then, later, you realise that it's actually made you want it even more! ...Not bad sex, I never want that again... But I'd love an AWESOME shag. A mindblowing shag. The kind of shag that makes me go weak at the knees, and waddle like a duck the next day! OK, maybe not the waddling! That's usually a sign of sex that's way too rough. I'm far too fragile to be pounded like a cheap steak! >.<

I learnt my lesson though. Younger guys; they're really not that awesome! ...Well, not until I'm in my 30s! Younger guys might rock my world then! ...If I still roll like that anyway.

Peace out kidlets!