welcome..

Hi, and welcome to the crazy! A place for a crazy single mum to type what is on her mind.. Please keep your arms & legs inside the carriage at all times, and hang the f*ck on!

18 February, 2011

Late at night...

I wish I could go back in time and take back every little brag I ever made about my little monster sleeping all night! Karma is most definitely paying me a visit of late, with my son waking up SCREAMING at the stupidest of hours... Taking forever to settle... Then starting all over again when I leave the room! It's all so very trying... Don't get me wrong, love him to bits... Just wish his cry didn't send me into a fit of rage in my grumpy half asleep state.

Some say it's the PND... That I was stupid for going cold turkey off the anti-depressants... Meh, I dislike feeling like drugs are ruling my life! People got by without them many years ago, why should now be any different!? Just because they're around, doesn't mean they should be abused and taken at the first sign of life getting tough. But at the same time.... Deep down I know that I need them... I think that's the worst part. DENIAL. Such a bitch of a thing. Ughhhh.
Others say it's the fact I feel so useless. I admire mothers that can stay home for YEARS raising their children, keeping house, playing wife... Really, I do. I would love to feel like I can do that! But I'm just not that person. I'm independent. I need to feel needed. Like I'm making a difference in this world... Gah, now I feel like a bad mum! I love raising my froggeh! I really do hope he turns out to be a seriously awesome little man! I just hope I can manage to turn myself into a seriously awesome woman as well!

Gah, now I feel like a bad mum! I'm not a bad person. I put my son before EVERYONE. Everything I've done in the last 2 years has been for him. Except for the move to Perth. That was for both of us. He'll enjoy the laidback lifestyle, I'll enjoy the fresh start! (hopefully!)
At least I get to do a lot of thinking at 2am.... Ponder what my life will be like in 5 years time... 10 years... 15... What froggeh will be like as an adolescent... adult... old man... LOL. Then I can never get to sleep. Such a vicious cycle!
Then I go back to trying to get a job.. And cleaning.. FML, I'm so over cleaning!!!! Especially when 10 minutes later, the little turd is pulling it all out of the bin anyway!! >.<

Ooooh, this ones a little deep hey!? I'm not a bad person! I'm just frustrated, confused, and experiencing a quarter life crisis! I'll sort myself out one day. Preferably before it's too late.
Peace out kidlets! x

14 February, 2011

Valentines Day...

Roses are gay
Violets are dead
I'll spend the whole day
Laying in bed!

...LOL. I dislike Valentines Day when I have nobody to stimulate me. Not in a dirty sex kinda way; in an adult conversation kinda way. One that doesn't involve poo's, toys, and tanties!
Don't get me wrong, sex would be awesome! But it's not really top of my list!

I also hate bills. And want more nappies. And want a million other things as well! ...Sucks to WANT everything!!! I WANT never gets!!!!
I do NEED a job though. Would most definitely help me satisfy my 'wants' LOL.
Ugh, bored ramblings yet again.

Peace out kidlets! x

Nothing like a good variety of screws to spice up the evening!

12 February, 2011

Sprinklers...

Gah, they're so frustrating!! When I first got here, the first thing I noticed was that the bit of grass between the hwy was getting watered!! Don't think I've ever seen that in my life! Naturally, this made me think Perth was the coolest place ever, LOL.
But now... Now I know the truth about the evil sprinklers. They never do what they're told! Go off when they want (at least on the right day!) and squirt for AGES! So much for 20 minutes max - sorry almost empty Perth dam, our sprinklers are greedy and stay on for an hour or so... >.<

Other than that, life here is pretty awesome! Finally get my bed tomorrow - only took 3 weeks! Also get my pallets of crap!!! This is exciting. Almost as exciting as when Sparkles (my car) arrived! Not really looking forward to putting my bed together though. Can totally see this ending badly!

Oh.. Yes.. I've been here 3 weeks!? CRAZY. Where is the time going!? Also getting homesick I think.... Starting to get bored as I get more settled in... Need to find a job, but it's no easy task when you have a kid to look after as well - discriminating bastards! Plus, the fact I only really have Hospitality experience doesn't really help me, considering I'm trying to get an office job. *sigh* One day...

Anyway, felt a little overdue on the blog front.. Now it's out of my system, I feel much better! Will probably get back into it a little more when I have REAL internet on my PC ahaha. Stupid USB internet stuff is GAY. Drops out wayyy too much! :(

Peace out kidlets! x